It’s the last day of 2015 and I’m not sure what to think of it. What have I achieved this year?
I was just telling the hubs the other day that I felt I have done nothing much and 2015 seemed like a very plain year and he exclaimed, “You gave birth to a baby!”
Oh yes, I forgot about that.
I guess that day was one of the many bad days I have had in December.
Faith was down with cough since the beginning of this month and I was exhausted by the experience. We tried both the western and eastern medication and it caused much stress for me. To add to that, she was difficult to deal with and I found myself having to discipline her EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s really a tough battle. I know it’s not easy for her, she having to deal with the cough and then rashes and to have to share her parents with her brother. I wish I could empathize with her but only Mr Anger showed up.
This Christmas, I couldn’t feel the cheer at all and let it pass by silently.
Since today is the last day of 2015 and things have gotten better this week, I thought I should pen down some thoughts and reflections.
The beginning of this year saw Faith entering school for the first time and I was relieved and thankful that throughout this year, she has expressed joy in attending school and loves her principal, teachers and friends. This holiday, she has asked me (countless times) when school will reopen. Soon, my dear, soon! During the last Parent-Teacher-Meeting, her report was stellar and it’s really a joy to see her grow in all aspects.
Because I had three and eventually four hours to myself while the girl was in school, I could accept more cake orders. I started taking orders from strangers and the experience had been enriching and satisfying.
Obviously, the highlight for this year is the birth of Daniel. I’m thankful for an uneventful pregnancy and that I could experience a natural birth for him. And you thought that things would be all right for me since I have experience with the firstborn but this time round, I was completely caught off-guard.
It isn’t that Daniel was a difficult baby. On the contrary, he’s easy to take care of. It’s Faith. I wrote about this in an earlier post and things got so bad that I started disliking her. How is this possible? It happened to me. I was overwhelmed with having to deal with all things related to the home and a baby and the last thing I want is her tantrums. I found myself shouting at her which I wouldn’t need to in the past (she was really a very cooperative and obedient child). All of a sudden, I feel that I’m a terrible mom which resulted in me having a depressing December.
Things got better this week. Perhaps, I just need to get the hang of things and have a routine of sorts. I have chosen not to engage any external form of help with the household chores and I have to learn to work more smartly around the house. With just a child, it’s easy. Now with a toddler and a baby, it calls for swift work and at times, a compromise on cleanliness. I can’t go for perfection anymore. I have also learnt to give more personal time to Faith which isn’t easy since my priority would be for the baby.
Three months. I learnt these in three months and I fully expect that there’re lots more to learn in the coming months… and years.
I hope things will be more positive when Faith goes back to school. I guess there will always be challenges along the way and that’s how we grow as parents. It’s really a tough job. Brace up, fellow parents!
Christmas at the Queks, 2015