Has it been a week since Dan was born?
I’m having a thankful spirit as I pen down these thoughts. Being a second time mom is… much pleasurable than the first. One may say it’s because I’m more experienced but I would like to attribute it to ‘letting go’.
As a mom, you want the best for your child and when Faith was born, I told myself that I would never get her to drink formula milk. She could only be breastfed. My mind was made up before she came into the world but oh, that put an immense amount of stress on me during that first week.
My milk supply didn’t come in until a few days later but clearly Faith was dehydrated because she couldn’t latch on well and that means she wasn’t really taking in the colostrum that was given to her. Her jaundice level was high and she underwent photo therapy at home which added to the stress. I nearly got into depression but thankfully, we engaged a lactation consultant who showed me the ropes to get the baby to latch on properly.
This time round for Dan, I have no issue with giving him formula milk. Because there is no ideal anymore, there is also no pressure. The milk supply came in very soon and Dan was able to latch on well. The can of formula milk has been left untouched just after a couple of scoops (anyone wants to take over?).
We have an experienced confinement nanny and I leave most of the tasks to her. Previously, I did what the nanny was supposed to do (except cooking) because it just didn’t make sense to me to leave the job of a mother to someone else. How irresponsible is that? What I didn’t realise then was the need for the mom to rest, especially after she had carried the child for 9.5 months, gone through physiological changes and then a traumatic experience at the hospital with wounds and all.
It isn’t selfish to take care of yourself first. How else would you be able to take care of the kids if you are not rested?
I’m thankful to have a confinement lady who keeps asking me to rest and a husband who has been so willing to help out in whatever capacity he has been called to. And Faith? She has shown herself to be ready to take on the role of a big sister. She understands that I have to feed the brother most of the time and will stay off the newborn when told to. She must have realised that the little brother isn’t really a lot of fun after all and does her own stuff or pesters us to play with her. I guess it’s not easy for her too that she has to handle such a major change in her life and to have to share her parents with her brother. I am told that she became emotional in school today and burst out crying, “I want my mummy…”
But she will survive.
So, I’ve learnt. That if I don’t try to be a perfectionist but learn to let go, life will not be so difficult after all. There are indeed many things in life that we cannot control and since that is the case, why do I need to be so dogmatic and insist on one method to doing things? Learn to commit it to the Lord and all will be well.
Hope your Tuesday’s been good!