A few posts ago, I asked the question, “What’s next?” and more specifically the dilemma of having a second child. I got a few good responses after asking a group of mummies from the SMB group.
~ I wasn’t planning on having more than one after my girl was born as she was so difficult to care for. But I was blessed with #2 and it’s really so wonderful having more kids! So much so we do not rule out having #3 (Simplymommie)
~ We love children…we see a difference in her behaviour when #2 came along. Sensible, sharing, responsible and having fun with a sibling to hang out with. ME time will be compromised but you will get by. (Joey W)
~ We always wanted a big family. So we always hoped for more than one. With two or more like you said they have a companion, and they learn to give and take. It’s of course harder taking care of more than one but seeing them grow together is really wonderful. (Mum in the making)
~ Having more than 1 is much harder work, but I think a sibling is one of the best gifts we can give to them. If you’re open to it, maybe leave it up to God, then you don’t have to decide? (Mummy Ed)
~ We love children, always wanted more. Never thought of whether to have #2 or not, it is a must have for us :)) It is very good for the kid to have someone at their age to play with, just different from playing with parents or friends. (The Kam Family)
~ Hubby likes kids so he wanted one more. Also didn’t want my daughter to be a spoiled and lonely singleton. One of my friends put it this way – when a singleton’s parents’ die, she or he will have no one to mourn with. ( wee stories)
~ Sometimes when I see my boy playing alone at home, I really want to give him a sibling. While growing up with my own brother was tough… I do enjoy having him around to talk to nowadays. So, I don’t want to deny my boy from having a sibling if i can. (meeningfully)
~ I came from a big family – 4 siblings in total. I’ve always wanted a big family too, but we’re only able to manage (financially, emotionally, physically) two. So in a way, we settled.
The above are some of the more common reasons why families go for more than a kid. Yesterday, I finally had the opportunity to bring this topic up with da man and while I stated that it would be good for Faith to have a sibling for companionship and that it would be good for her to learn how to care and share, his response seemed to make the most sense – we shouldn’t make decision that is centred around Faith. If we decide to have a second child, it should be because we want it and not for Faith’s sake.
His comments kind of sealed the decision for me. Currently, I’m more mentally, emotionally and physically prepared to have a second one. Pose me this question a few months back and I would firmly say ‘No thanks!’ to one more being to look after. The first year was ultra difficult for me and da man, I’m sure. It was a steep learning curve, no doubt. But once Faith grew out of the infant stage, things got better. I find myself laughing and enjoying this bundle of blessing more.
So are we going for a second one? I guess we will try but ultimately, it’s all up to the Almighty if He is going to bless us with one more.