Honeymooners class: Lesson 3

The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness.

This week’s topic focused more on the individuals than on the marriage as it is our attitude that will determine whether we and our partners “live happily ever after”.Happiness in marriage has everything to do with will.

I must confess that I was a bit affected when we went over to J & H’s place for dinner. Their apartment overlooked the Charles River and the whole place was carpeted. Another couple lived a few streets down and theirs was a new condo with gym facilities and a heated pool. When I heard that, my heart was complaining, “Our place is the worst. The flooring is bad, has no facilities and so small!” I was comparing and started to put a little blame on the hubs for not renting a nicer apartment (when I told the hubs about it, he shared that he was indeed worried that I would think in that light!=p)

I have fallen prey to the developing of a negative mind-set, blaming my unhappiness on things the hubs does or doesn’t do and in this case, his renting of the studio apartment. But very quickly, I realised I had to stop that unhealthy thought because in actual fact, our studio apartment IS cosy and warm and I have a wonderful kitchen with all the equipment the hubs has bought for me. So, why am I complaining?

It’s an endless game of chasing more things, better stuff and I think the key is contentment – that, in every situation, you appreciate what you have and the people who are relishing the moments with you.

I have, at that instance, changed my attitude and I found myself being able to enjoy the company of the new friends. Had I dwelt on the initial thought, I would be miserable throughout the evening.

It is thus vital that couples find the right attitude in spite of the conditions they find themselves in. Easier said than done? I think it is possible if we make the effort to programme our mind to magnify the positives rather than dwell on the negatives.

The good news is…the bad news can be turned into good news…when you change your attitude! ~ Robert H. Schuller

We went on to talk about the saboteurs of a happy marriage, namely self-pity,blame and resentment. I shan’t elaborate on these but will leave you with a quote:

If you expect perfection from people, your whole life is a series of disappointments, grumblings, and complaints. ~ Bruce Barton

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